Procrastination, More often than not though
I have a problem with procrastination. I think many share it with me, kind of a universal problem like war, climate change, …
I bought so many books from brilliant writers about procrastination, enrolled in many tutorial videos, and online courses… The only problem is that if you don’t read them or watch them, it doesn’t make any difference. I feel like I need to heal first from my procrastination in order to be able to know how to heal from it. Which is kind of crazy!
I hate to think about it this way, and I don’t want to discourage you choosing this path, but it seems to me as if I would be in the judgment’ day, hearing angels saying” watching you go through your life was the most dump & exciting movie ever! Why don’t you just use the manual next to your birth certificate!!! We informed you about everything in advance! “
Procrastination is taught
My procrastination is kind of conservative, always keeping same habits, same steps… guess she is not comfortable with the changes or surprises. Her showing up most of the time comes announcing or closing a stressful or tough time, or Whenever I am tied to a strict plan.
As if I am supposed to prepare a training or write a speech or an article… Whenever I have to do something I am supposed to do, I find myself doing anything other than the one thing I am supposed to do, then I feel bad about myself. I hope you understand why I feel bad. It is really hard for a focused and pragmatic person, used to measure facts and evaluate improvement to not get things done! Facing that, I get depressed and this is not even helping. Because depression treasures company; it shows up with inactivity, thus, I really don’t get anything done.
Later, when I decide to not be depressed anymore, I find myself with more disheartening tasks, as letting things go doesn’t make it lighter or entertaining. Accumulated work brings tasks you hate the most which are another subsidiary reason for breaking into procrastination. I end up drawn in an MUST-Do-Now list and fighting to meet up deadlines.
I really can’t tell if I should be grateful that those crazy busy days always come before some lazy procrastinating days. Maybe that’s the way my procrastination is conspiring with me. She doesn’t want to ruin my life completely, giving me a chance to catch up things on time so I keep going back to her like that unusual ex – we sort of all had once in our life- we broke up and come back several times each month. Yet we don’t know which kind of chemistry is bending us?
Like now, I have to write a speech for a regional event, quite important opportunity where you have to say much in less time, needs lots of preparation. While thinking about what I want to say? What do I want to talk about? I went to my room, opened my precious notebook looking for past inspiring #By_ME quotes I wrote or Later-ideas list, I felt my room was too dusty.
Suddenly I can’t cope with such a messy environment anymore, and I went downstairs to get a rag. On the way downstairs, I saw that Hindi movie on TV, that I already watched million times & memorize each word by heart!
Yet, Somehow, I convinced myself that watching few minutes and getting some rest from doing almost nothing is needed to replenish my inspiration right now.
Only after a few hours, zapping from a movie to another, taking a nap, cooking… I went back to my room. By that time, I totally forgot why I basically went down. I was staring around to remember what should I do now. Meanwhile, I realized that I need more bright clothes. Wearing dull clothes makes me look just older and chase away my positive energy! It has become my top priority to-do-list NOW.
I started checking different brands online when I found my new singer’s album. Between listening to the songs, downloading, organizing my music list… posting on Facebook, tracking, then twitting. My phone rang, Unknown numbers, maybe new potential clients, focus… But, I can’t answer. I am writing a new article now. I need my moment!
Then my best friend called. I told her I am busy working on my speech. And she was completely amazed how disciplined I am! She said I should write about how I do it? And here I am doing it.
Knowing me, the multi-tasking person and the achiever, people reading this must be shocked. They must think I have a free- procrastination life. Guess what, Nope!
Procrastination must be obeyed
Now that you know, I don’t. I am going to share with you how I catch up and beat my procrastination each time.
My secret is my strong belief that procrastination is the way my inner-voice and body are interacting with me. It’s the way my inner voice is pushing for a personal peaceful time, a time-out from all the daily distractions. A way, my body informing me he’s tired and needs a break to avoid the big crash. Which happened when I don’t listen and ignore the call.
My plan while obeying is following the motto “All our life, so far as it has definite form, is but a mass of habits”.
I recognize my procrastination like any bad habit I want to get rid of. The best way to do it is replacing it with a good habit.
I kind of learned to figure out the clue about my procrastination – when, why, which weather or mood bring it– so I get ready in advance with a plan to cope with the dribble mood and apathetic attitude.
I plan activities that I enjoy and can be propitious for a long -term investment and can’t be scheduled on my daily routine.
This way I don’t object to my instinctive reaction, which is procrastinating. I just adjust it according to my appetite. For example, instead of reading magazines or surfing on the internet, I switch to reading books different from what I read usually, that has nothing to do with my expertise, just entertaining and as said that I won’t be able to invest time on during my pro-active days.
As if I fool my mind. It reminds me when I look forward to long business trips because they are my excuse to watch romantic drama on planes, get emotional to and cry.
Through several overstrain and health issues, I learned the hard way to never neglect the message. I have learned also to worship my life outside work and during these moments of lost and rambling because that was when I had some of my best thinking too.
It’s my empty board approach, my dull blank moment to discover new perspectives and build new ideas & opinions.
It doesn’t mean that once I got the idea, I will jump up and write immediately an article about it or prepare an action plan, even if it happens sometimes … but my experience shows me that most of these thoughts that I saved on my later-list are worth going back to when I am more on a plan & act mode.
If there is something you need grab from all this, is that in order to catch what you want, you will sometimes have to let something go. Accepting procrastination is one of them. It taught me to accept myself and not push beyond my limits to always be this dynamo or the 100% go-girl when all I need is a lazy day or two. It’s part of being authentic to yourself.
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6 septembre 2018