A 13 years old just send me a message asking me, » how can I improve my appearance and look beautiful like you? »
First, sweetheart, even if I don’t know you or how you look, I am sure you are a beautiful person. Kindness is greater than beauty. You must be really a kind and humble person to be open to express and share your feelings generously. Believe me, I am not saying this because I doubt myself or I am an unconfident woman, at the opposite. What you did is powerful and shows your nature. You need to be beautiful to see beauty in others and be able to send this positive energy.
And here some personal tips:
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!! – That’s beauty tip number one. Always know that makeup is FOR FUN!! It is because you never need it. I didn’t start wearing make-up until my first years in college – at least 7 years older than you do now – and it was only on few occasions. I do use it more often now that I am in my thirties and I LOVE it, but as a quick routine or for a special hangout. Nothing more. I spend days without it and it is really when I choose to. If you put make-up as an obligation to please others or be accepted, it is the wrong way to put it and you are creating a very bad addiction that will not only ruin your natural beauty but also your confidence.
Always follow your inner voice. While you are choosing what to wear, how you do your hair or make-up… always follow your inner voice. I am the kind of person who worships experts’ opinion, in a beauty salon or skin care or shop… I listen carefully to what they suggest and their advice, but when it comes to the final decision it should be mine, not them. I can’t remember how many times I betrayed myself wearing a very expensive or trending outfit because that Fashionista suggested and while trying it I wasn’t very convinced yet I bought it. Then it ended up unwearied in my closet or worst I wear it and it affects my mood and how I felt I look. I don’t know how your locus of control is performing but I have a very high one. Which means it doesn’t matter how many people or how much time you may compliment my look unless I validate it deep inside of me, else I will still feel insecure.
Though if trying out new hairstyles, new clothes make you feel more confident, then you should go for it. I enjoy shopping, trying new looks. I think I dress well, and I do get compliments. But the key is that I do it for myself. I feel confident when I’m wearing something I like.
The worst thing you want to start your life with is to depend on others to tell you that you’re good-looking. Don’t do that to yourself. Be strong and grow the beautiful personality you already have.
And one more thing, people who comment on your looks, do that for a whole lot of reasons, hardly anything related to how you look and mostly pertaining to their own insecurities. It is not the best way to build healthy relationships, whether with friends, boyfriends… anyone unless you are looking for a modeling career.
EXERCISE NOT TO LOOK GOOD. If that’s your main purpose, you’ll easily give up when the outside takes too long to change. Or you’ll begin to starve yourself. And this never ends well. Beauty is only secondary. Exercise to be healthy. When the inside feels good. It will start to show on the outside.
Last year, I went to a very famous and efficient expert to set up an agenda for the gym and follow a healthy diet. I was often struggling to stick to, no matter how much I believe it’s mandatory for a healthy and successful life. I want an expert’s help. While I was explaining to him, why I break down the chain sometimes, skipping sessions and consuming unhealthy junk food, he said » Well, each time you feel you need to do so, look at yourself in the mirror » I can’t describe to you how frustrated I was and I told him » what makes you think I am ashamed of my body or uncomfortable with my look? Do you think because I aim for better, it means I hate who I am today? »
My reaction shocked him because he got used to women and girls running for him unconfident and insecure. That speech motivates them to perform better. I can’t deny he has done great results and they improved awesomely their bodies, but I am not sure it has any positive effect on the way they look to themselves or how stable and confident they are.
My last tip, a practical one if you think you still need to improve your look, sweetheart: If you are eager to make a big change right now. The best thing you can ever learn is how to properly use a Bobby pin and how to French braid. The things I can do with a couple bobby pins and a couple cute braids have saved my life on occasion when I want to look cute on short notice. Else I would just suggest doing a haircut. It can be a miracle. Please don’t change your hair color, it is an absolute destruction of your natural hair. The first time I changed my hair color was a few months ago and even if I am much older than you, I kind of regret it despite I get a lot of compliments about it. Anyway.
If you feel like you MUST wear makeup; wear mascara or an eyeliner pencil and lip gloss. Sunscreen is very important for your skin always. Drink LOTS of water. If your skin is dry, don’t use chemical products. A natural moisturizer would be great for your face and mouth. Please do not consider foundation, you are still young. I think it makes your skin more depending on make-up.
I will end up reminding you that a sincere smile is a girl’ s best make-up. It is the light of your heart. No matter how plain a woman may be, her beauty is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows. Always be proud of yourself and caring. Bless you.