Falling in Love: It may happen faster than you think, but does it mean getting married so fast?
He is MyMr. Right
You think it’s love at first sight, it is magical, and you keep thinking « I can’t imagine one day of my life without him»
You start wondering: if I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with that person, what’s the point of waiting?
Even if he seems to be perfect, it is only a few months or weeks… Have you thought about it ? does anyone have the courage to tell you that! The answer is mostly being NOPE.
Even with friends wondering how sure you are, telling you, you should wait and ask questions, you wonder what kind of questions should I have answers?
Looking for support from family, asking main questions like do you love him ? is he the one ? will you be happy ? will he protect you ? will he be faithful?
Those questions will make you more confused. Nobody can tell the future. And faith is easily doubtful facing tough questions.
Things may get worse with a history of dating real losers and not getting any younger. You think you are making a safe choice.
Looking for comfort in movies: you will find girls to make sure they are making the right decision, asking questions like does he know your coffee? your favorite meal? color ? And you start wondering how come those silly questions decide how true is our love ?!
Those are just details. He can learn them anytime. We will have a whole life to know more about each other,
But how can you be so sure? If he didn’t care about those small things from now, how can you expect he understands what can’t be shared in the future.
You are different. If he didn’t pay enough attention to the way you obviously maintain your little details and preferences, how can you expect he will be there understanding your changing mood and unreasonable crisis.
Love vs Marriage
I don’t pretend to know what love or marriage is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me.
Love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person. It is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of. Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.
The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one’s relationship has a growing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase.
This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is what defines a great marriage. It cannot be found by looking for it or by a sort of divine accident or by passionately wishing for it.
In order to get that wonderful relationship, we must feel equal.
Marriage as Us
We were raised in a world believing that no one can accept you or help you better than yourself. We are our own heroes.
With this attitude, you can enjoy a love fairy tale, but if you choose to get married, you need to upgrade your small world – Me- up to your small family – Us-.
Us should never be unknown, separate or judgmental. It should be the only place that will never put you down or abandon you,
Your marriage – what I consider us in our small world- should be the place that will always give you love and respect.
That’s why you definitely should sit and ask if it feels right to each other, getting married so fast.
If you are making this decision with your heads or hearts, or both.
It is not only about your thoughts and expectations, and if you can’t share it open without any fear to lose or change your partner in the process, then it is just not worth it.
If there is much you haven’t talked about like where are you going to live, do you want to travel, where do you want to raise your kids? Or do you even want to have kids, and when?
Do not accept answers like we still have time, this can be discussed, that we love each other, and there is nothing we can’t work through…
Don’t wait until you wake up the day after your marriage or a few years later asking if your marriage day was the happiest day of your life or not.