I met many girls in my life, whining about their boyfriends or spouses leaving them because they claim they are better than them, or they don’t deserve them.
I had been there too, and somehow I didn’t want to accept it.
I tried all ways to save my relationship: whether to stick with the person, keep feeding his ego, or blame myself and playing the low-profile to please him and everyone else who may notice or declare that I am better or deserve better.
Because I did not have the courage to finish up the current and take the risk for what can be next.
Well, all that I tried and you may try now sweety is wrong. If I have learnt something from all this shit is that if a guy thinks you are too good for him then you definitely are.
Usually, when a man says that, either he is looking around and preparing his next move without making you feel pissed off of him or offended so he can always keep his options open. Or he has struggles with his self-esteem and confidence: facing self, insight, deep problems… whatever you may call it… worst part, he is not admitting that and throwing his weakness on you.
He would probably start by « you are too good for me », » I don’t know how a girl like you is with a guy like me »… First, you may feel flattered, even take it as a love proof and consider yourself the luckiest ever.
Then things would get worse, the complementing would turn into jealousy crisis and possessive behaviors.
At some point, it could turn into negative criticism and continued negligence in order to stir your self-esteem. That’s his last arm. If he can’t boost, then he would definitely bring you down.
What bothers me is that we, women, mostly, in the name of love and loyalty, perhaps due to our giving and forgiving nature, or sometimes under the pressure of family and society, we allow our partners to hurt us and ruin our own sunshine.
We think sacrificing who we are and adapting to what people expect and need is our duty. We think that the more we cope with the situation, things will get better and we will end up finding our balance. We were raised convinced that prioritizing others needs and expectations are the sign of generosity and kindness. And it’s our duty.
Well, that is not true. Look around you and you will realize that.
How many women you know, walked this path and ended up silently miserable or left alone. How many times you abused yourself and ignored your hopes, despite that you have been betrayed and taken for granted instead of loved and respected.
A love with conditions or guides to accept less. A love with restrictions preventing you from being who you really are, and reaching what you aim, is not a real love. It is not even a relationship you can count on for your present or build your future on it. It is a pending situation; a sleeper sells you never know when it is going to bomb on your land.
Make yourself always your priority and if he says » he does not deserve you » then he really does not. Just leave.