I was always struggling when it comes to my relationship with girls.First, I thought that the problem is my spontaneous and funny character that makes them look fake. Or maybe the way boys get attracted to me quickly. So, I decided to extremely choose the girls I hang out with, that I won’t have to handle the lack of confidence issues anymore. Not to mention, the benefit of been surrounded with uplifting people.Yet, the solution wasn’t as efficient as expected. Even if she is a beautiful girl, with a successful career and the most important part: her crush isn’t in love with me. At some point, she may start hating me extremely.I was sure I have missed a piece in the puzzle and need to catch it before I become an anti-feminist.
I have decided to take some distance and watch how popular lovely girls do it. My first use of modelization – a trick to perfection I have adapted during my NLP training – to save my social life.
The shocking truth!!!
I have finally discovered the secret. It’s the most awkward chart I had ever seen.
Not like the guy’s one: don’t play with your best friend ‘sister, never lose a friend for a girl, don’t date your friend’s ex… At least, I can understand!!! It is declared and respected.
Although, The girls’ chart is hidden and obeyed unconditionally. What girls consider sort of the feminist sympathy or support or whatever they call.
And what I, personally, see as a destroying lie that had turned many girls into weird freaks or stupid dolls.
I do value the point behind it, that they care about each others. Still, is it really the only way to show sympathy? And if so, is it worth facing the painful truth later? or allowing a playful guy to control your friend’s life? and why? Just because you weren’t courage enough to tell her the truth or you are afraid that she won’t believe you and stand by him…
Well, if so, better know now than never. A pending friendship is like a poisoned cake, it’s nice to see but killing to eat.
According to the precious chart: When your girlfriend runs to you, asking for help, whining about a boy who’s obviously not interested in her, or selfish enough to take her for granted and make her suffer!!! Forget about the friendship credo, about been honest, telling the truth and facing each other. All you need is a great use of your debating skills to change up every desperate situation into a hopeful sign.
If he is not calling for a whole week, he must be busy or afraid to rush on you… if he is not answering, he is definitely in an important meeting with his boss Saturday late or starting a new project on valentine’s day, it’s very common nowadays !!! My eyes !!!
If he is trying to avoid meeting you, then he is giving you some space … they can tell her all the freaking weird situations and facts that even cartoons will think twice before putting it in a fantasy comedian science fiction history movie, but they will never tell her that he is just not into her or he is just a playful guy and she should get a life away from him!!!
Who’s to blame?
I don’t know whether I should feel pity for the manipulating adviser or the broken heart girl. I think they are both assuming the responsibility of a hypocrite cultural raising society. It’s our mothers’ fault. Our grandmothers’ fault too. It’s like an inherited cultural, we are assuming responsibility for it.
We are raised by women making us believe that if treated badly from a guy, it is normal. “He is just a guy”, I am sure you heard it a lot. I don’t know whether it was in order to protect our feeling or they really mean it.
I would like to consider that, the first time the famous “he is just a guy” sentence was used by a mother, she actually meant that he is stupid enough to not value your worth, or heartless enough to not able to consider your feeling, or rude enough to not treat you kindly.
Since all mothers started using it like a “cliché”, it lost its real meaning years after years… Kind of a mysterious plot!!!
“He is just a guy’ has become an excuse to cover all guys ‘mistakes. Even guys started promoting for it !!! of course, it is on their total benefits.
Her meaning had changed to: “he likes you too much”, “he is just thinking you are too good for him”… It’s just because he has a crush on you and he is just not knowing how to react.
Come on !!! What a silly excuse !!! Loving is like breathing for humans.
Everybody knows how he’s supposed to behave with his lover. At least, he will give it a serious try. How can you be unbelievably fool or blind to accept such an excuse? that this dilemma is realizable.
All that effort and history distortion was it to avoid saying “he is a jerk” or “he is not interested in you”?
If so, this is the right time, to start an immediate revolution, to save our beliefs… and bring back the pride of this extremely valuable sentence where it belongs and fight for our dignity roots…
And then we, girls, will stop saying lies to each others, because it too scared and hard, and simply say the one obvious truth “He is just not into you”
I may not have saved my social feminist life. I don’t really feel guilty for that, as Jiddu Krishnamurti said:”It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”. But, I have definitely kept the best, the one worth the truth.