Everyone talks about the formula of success saying that if A is the success in life, then it should be equal to x plus y minus z multiple g… we have been exposed for so long to the same thoughts, build certain perspectives and values in our mind, that we rarely consider re-evaluating them or try to create another version of the formula of “what success should be”.

Summarizing my years of experience in rebelling and discovering in just 3 sentences would be challenging, but I wanted  to share that with you today. Some people may call them stereotypes, I, however, would rather call them “points to re-consider” in an authentic way in order to design the most appropriate life for you:

1-      Success is a choice

A lot of people think that success is a choice we made, and successful people enjoy perfect lives, that’s not true ! not because perfection doesn’t exist, as I believe everyone can create his own perfection, but in another way:

To be successful, you must decide exactly what do you want to accomplish, then resolve to pay the price to get it,

It’s not a choice, it is not a dress or glasses, you choose to wear a dress for some days then take it off for the rest of the year; but for success, it’s a decision you will have to live with for the rest of your life.

When you choose to start your own business at an early age, dedicating your life to that goal means you may not be able to have fun, be wild, and enjoy dating the way your peers do.

There would be fun and glory coming later, yes, definitely, even crazier, more luxurious and unlimited life… however, living this life at your 30s is different than your 20s, even if you thought that it would be the same. You should be aware of that to avoid feeling nostalgic whenever you face “a speedbump” in your way towards. Thus spending your 50th birthday in a teen nightclub.

Been successful means that at some level, you need to cope with giving up a balanced life to get a more focused one: you will have some imbalance in your life; some areas will be more developed comparing to others. If you didn’t create great relationships before you win the jackpot, you may find yourself dealing with fake friends, missing opportunists, and kissing asses for a long time…

Only when success is a decision, it will push you to stand up again and fight in moments of exhaustion and disappointments,

You can wake up each day, look at the mirror and say it, or sing it while driving, or write it on a facebook post or tweet it “ that’s my decision, those are my rules and that’s who I am.”

2-      Success is discipline

Most people think that successful people are the most disciplined person, well organized, hard working, and committed.

If we looked to someone who is working effectively in a high position full-time job, it means that he is working at least 40 hours per week. What would you say about someone who is working 3 full-time jobs, and  handling his own business besides his other social work activities?

If we do the calculation, we will find at least that he is working 140 hours per week, and we all know the week has only 168 hours, this is definitely impossible.

With all modesty this is my case, I am sure there are more people doing much more.

There is definitely a secret behind that, besides discipline?

It’s not only about multi-tasking, but also working parallelly and following your own rhythm.

If you decided to apply approaches (that is telling you about how to organize your priorities and respect deadlines),  you will end up working like a robot and even worse: your body or mood simply will shut down. There is no method states that you “Should follow your heart”, it would be a lyrics of a romantic song more than life guidelines.

Only God knows how much I used to say “I have to” for every task over my shoulder. the phrase “I have to” always led me to work continuously for hours and suffer from pressure and stress. However, the secret phrase, which has changed my life, was transforming “I have to“ to “I want to”. When I started giving my heart the opportunity to go along with my mind, my motivation and performance have increased a lot.

Einstein said “time is relative”, which means that if you spend your time doing something you like, you will feel happy, achieve more, and have the sense that you spend nothing. Rescheduling your duties, according to you rhythm will make you achieve more.

Most of the time, you keep saying “I have to do … I have to”, and you become paralyzed with stress, while once you ask the question “what if I don’t”, you will see a whole new perspective.

3-      Success is humble.

Another wrong statement we have been raised to obey.

It’s antithetical to our nature, which we have been taught from birth, that we should be modest, responsive and putting the needs of others first.

We are overwhelmed with talks about how powerful and successful people should act humbly until they idolize them.

But as much as every culture and religion keep reminding us about the tiny line differentiating between being arrogant and confident, nobody mention that differentiation between being humble and underestimating ourselves.

Let’s make a simple math, let’s say that I meet at least 50 persons per day, they’re attendees, ideas holders, participants in my programs…etc, Even for a professional coach, you still need from quickie coaching session of 20 minutes (up to the regular 45-minute session, or even to a “marathon session” that can last for two hours or even more) to get to know someone basically.

Let’s choose the simplest, and fastest form of communication and pick 20-min quick session. If I spent a 20-min session with each one of those 50 persons, then I would need more than 24 hours to meet them all. It is impossible and I can’t even make sure it’s a returning investment. In other words, do you really expect from someone to invest his time to get to know your amazing ideas, skills, or capacities without you pitching them!!!  I am afraid to tell you, that the only case this could happen is the case that you encounter  mind reader or a freaking intrusive person who wants to know more.

No matter how the word selfish has an ugly implication, you still need a strong sense of SELF -both internally and externally-. It is the engine that empowers you.

You need a SELF, not a SELFIE!!

You need to dig deep, into your flesh and bones, to discover this core sense of SELF, and then you must own this SELF from your guts to your skin.

If you are going to build a unique voice, this process is going to be painful, it’s going to be dangerous, and someone, somewhere, is going to hate you because of it.

You need to have a strong sense of self. Without it, there’s no distinction between you and anyone else; therefore, it’s impossible to have your “unique voice”. However, this “SELF” needs to be monitored, accountable, and controlled.

Sometimes only outside voices can help.

But don’t overestimate your “SELF”? You will flush everything you have accomplished  down the toilet.

Be yourself, Be authentic, and don’t pretend something you are not,

Success is a decision you make to live the perfect life you design for yourself because you are not a copy, you are genuine.